One extra-ordinary mother
RAISING OWEN
An extra-ordinary memoir of motherhood
March is Women’s History Month and today is International World Down Syndrome day. A good time to celebrate the creativity it takes to navigate the world as a mother and a woman.
This is the story of a first time mother coming to terms with her oldest son’s surprise diagnosis of Down syndrome shortly after his birth. From influential Hollywood tech expert to motherhood to author to Downs Syndrome activist - enter author Suzanne Lezotte.
Suzanne writes “The first thing I surrendered was releasing my firmly placed expectations of having a child who would require a different life map than I’d drawn. I had to prepare myself for and welcome in the new experiences that would arise on the road I’d started down.
The second thing I surrendered was the notion that Owen got the raw end of the deal with this diagnosis. Who was I to say what was best for him, our family, and all who he would come in contact with throughout his life? … Much like how a stone dropped in a pond produces far-reaching ripples, Owen’s spirit continues to oh-so-gently nudge others’ hearts, thus changing outcomes from fear to love, from chaos to calm, from rejection to acceptance.”
The Lazotte family ©suzanne lazotte
We asked Suzanne a couple of questions about life and here’s what she had to say.
Describe your eight year old self
I grew up in a big Irish Catholic household in Michigan, with five brothers and three sisters. We each had our own moniker, and mine was ‘the bookworm.’ Because everyone was always clamouring for attention, I found solace in reading. Books became worlds I could enter that were so far
removed from my ordinary life. I often dreamed of becoming an actress, which clearly was not my path, but it allowed me to make up stories that I could ‘star’ in. My parents owned a house on an acre of land with a creek in the back, and I often disappeared to sit alone and write stories.
Describe your twenty one year old self.
Determined, restless, and hungry for more. My last year of college at Western Michigan University, I had a vision of what I wanted my life to look like: travel, life in a big city and freedom from always being identified as someone’s sister or “one of the Lezotte kids.” I needed to redefine myself. I took on whatever jobs I could to pay the bills and save for what lay beyond. A part-time nanny during the week bled into the weekend shift at a local bar where the Chippendales often danced to crowds of over-zealous women, and I worked until 2, sometimes 3 am. Six months after college, I packed everything I owned into the trunk of my Chevy Citation and drove across the country. My first job was a receptionist at “Animation Magazine,” followed by a sales assistant at the fledgling “Entertainment Weekly,” which was six months old at the time.
Describe yourself now.
Today, I am stronger that I thought I would be, considering the twists and turns my life has taken. Yet I am softer, and gentler in my approach to my life. I find small prayers of gratitude in everything from my teenagers’ laughter as they gather in the kitchen, to the tiny buds on my trees as they begin their next cycle of lemons, oranges and key limes. I used to rush through my days, living in the future present, as there was always something more I had to do or make happen or wait for. I have learned to live in the moment as much as possible and as fleeting as it is, no longer regretting that my babies turned into almost-adults while I worked too much and listened too little. I take time to appreciate the unfolding of the day, stopping to make sure I was kind and smiled, and always mindful to catch the waning sunset of the day.
Best advice you’ve ever received
Best advice I ever received was “do it messy.” In other words, nothing is perfect to begin with. I could not have written my book “Raising Owen: An Extra-Ordinary Memoir on Motherhood” if I hadn’t just started, as messy as the first draft was. It took me three drafts until I knew it was good.
The worst advice
Sticking it out in a corporate job I hated was better than not having a job at all. I stayed six months too long.
What is your motto in life
The Universe is working out the details.
What keeps you up at night?
What the world will look like for my children. They have already lived through the Woolsey fires in Malibu, Covid, the onset of climate change, and the reverse of Roe v. Wade.
What excites you about the future?
The research on psychedelics for depression and addiction. I read Michael Pollan’s book “How to Change Your Mind” a few years ago and it has fascinated me. More recently, my 18-year-old daughter struggled with depression during and after Covid, and I would like to think that there will be an alternative in the future that involves plant medicine.
very laboratory